Last night I had the pleasure of attending a launch/fundraising event held by the Batonga Foundation in New York City. The organization is a US-based non-profit charitable organization that gives girls a secondary school and higher education so they can take the lead in changing Africa. Their mission is being implemented by granting scholarships, building secondary schools, mentoring, advocating education awareness, etc.

The event was hosted by the beautiful Liya Kebede (supermodel), Vanessa Redgrave (actress), Donna Karan (we fashion-savvy BGs already know who she is) and Angelique Kidjo (singer) at the vast, Bohen Foundation. It was great attending a spectacular event that raised funds for the education of our young and less fortunate BGs in Africa.

It’s important for all BGs around the world to give back. There are a myriad of national and international charities, foundations and mentoring opportunities where we can either donate our time or money. If we don’t give back to our communities, who will?

For more information on Batonga visit: www.batongafoundation.org

For information on becoming a mentor in your area visit: www.mentoring.org

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We BGs always value our true friendships. However, there are times when one of your girls becomes more of a bother than a buddy. When that time comes you need to know when to cut her loose. Good friends are like fine wine, they usually get better with time, but with some women, that is just not the case.

I had the difficult experience of ending a nearly 4-year friendship recently that took a lot of consideration and introspection. Ending a friendship can sometimes be as emotional as breaking up with your beau. Although, I must admit the end result can leave you feeling empowered, liberated and burden-free! I know that’s exactly how I felt with my decision to end my friendship. Take note from that episode of Girlfriends when Joan and Toni finally called it quits. It may just be television, but Joan seems to be doing just fine without Toni even though it may have hurt in the beginning.

Our time on earth is just too short to deal with someone who doesn’t add anything to our lives, but drama, stress, jealousy and a laundry list of other negative attributes. Cherish those who are always there and hold them near and dear to your heart because true friends are really hard to find.

5 Tips on When You Should End a Friendship

1.When she only points out the negatives in things that pertain to you. Example: You tell her that you just bought a new fabulous dress and she says, “It’s cute, but isn’t that style so last season?”

2.When she doesn’t support your decisions. Example: You tell her that you’re breaking up with your boyfriend because you don’t feel he treats you with respect and she says, “Girl you better keep him, you know that he’s the best thing that’s happened to you; plus, we all know you can’t keep a man.”

3.You begin to dread her phone calls.

4.Hanging out with her drains you emotionally because she always has some kind of drama.

5.You always listen and provide advice to what’s going on in her life, but when it’s her turn to lend an ear and give you some feedback she’s too busy.

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Why Did I Get Married? How many of us married folks have asked ourselves this loaded question? Truthfully speaking, I have never asked myself this question until I heard about Tyler Perry’s new movie, with the same title. So, this weekend I dragged my husband to see the movie because I’ve been dying to go to the movies since it’s the only place where I can stuff my face with nachos and eat obscene amounts of candy without feeling guilty. Of course, my hubby didn’t want to go because he knew it was a Tyler Perry movie and let’s just say, he isn’t a Madea fan. I reassured him that the hilarious and crazy old lady wouldn’t be making an appearance in this film so he reluctantly obliged and took me to see it on Friday. I had never seen any of Perry’s other movies, so I didn’t really know what to expect. To my pleasant surprise, it exceeded my expectations and was fantastic! Shockingly, my husband agreed that it was actually a very well written movie with a great message. All of the characters were relatable and flawed just like we are in our own lives. It really helped put marriage in perspective from different viewpoints. I think that I might have to hit the video store soon and pick up some of Perry’s other films and check them out because Why Did I Get Married was definitely a surprising treat. If you weren’t one of the millions who saw it this weekend, I highly recommend that you see it soon. In the meantime, check out some tips for having a healthy marriage or relationship.

Trust – If you don’t trust one another, your entire relationship will falter. Always tell the truth no matter how much you fear the repercussions. Like the Bible says, “The Truth Shall Set You Free!”

Communication – If you can’t talk openly to one another and express your feelings to your partner, then there’s definitely a problem. Never be afraid to tell him how you’re really feeling. Otherwise, don’t blame him when he doesn’t know why you’re upset.

Respect – If you don’t respect your spouse or boyfriend, your relationship is bound to fail. Remember, respect is a two-way street, if you don’t give it how can you expect him to?

Spirituality – If you’re not grounded spiritually with your partner, it can’t work. Always remember to put God first and the rest will fall in place.

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Now that the new fall TV lineup is in full swing, I’m left feeling rather disappointed. Where are the brown faces on mainstream and even primetime cable networks? Of course our 4 brown-skinned Girlfriends are back, along with the Game and Everybody Hates Chris, but that’s only one network – The CW. Have the other networks completely forgotten that we too enjoy watching people who look like us portrayed on TV? I don’t know about you, but shows like, I Love New York 2 and all the shows on BET don’t exactly qualify.

Don’t get me wrong, I love reality television, but I long for the days of good scripted television shows of substance like NBC’s A Different World and Showtime’s Soul Food. Those were well-written and well-acted shows that many of us related to on a weekly basis. I loved both shows so much that I find myself watching all of the reruns as if I have never seen them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched the episode of Whitley and Dwayne Wayne’s wedding. I can never get enough of seeing Dwayne walk down that aisle and profess his love to Whitley! Whenever I watch it, I’m immediately transported back to 1993 when I was 13-years old glued to my tube. Or that time on Soul Food when Bird kicked that oh-so-fine Lem out their house because she caught him lying about having a job? That stuff was definitely MUST SEE TV! I just hope that the next generation of BGs can reminisce about good TV and not be referring to Flavor of Love.

Luckily, both series are available on DVD. However, only the first season of A Different World and only the first 2 seasons of Soul Food are available.

Season 1: Available at www.amazon.com for: $14.99

Season 1: Available at www.amazon.com for: $31.49

Season 2: Available at www.amazon.com for: $32.99

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If you love fashion, beauty, pop culture, decorating and other trendy things, you’re more than likely a magazine junkie like me. My obsession with magazines started back when I was about 6-years-old when my mother ordered my first subscription to Highlights magazine; I’ve been hooked ever since. I remember feeling an overwhelming anticipation as the mailman approached our front door with a large bundle in his hand hoping that he’d be delivering what seemed to me like candy in the form of glossy paper.

Throughout elementary school I continued to read Highlights until I became obsessed with the now very cheesy kid version of Bell Biv Devoe – Another Bad Creation (ABC). During that time I had to have every issue of Right On! and Black Beat magazine so I could frantically rip out the posters, plaster them on my wall and read silly stuff about Ro-Ro’s (he was the cute one) favorite color and what he liked on his pizza. By the time I reached high school I became more interested in magazines like Vibe and Honey. While in college I continued to read Honey, but grew more interested in Ebony and Essence. Now I read everything from Real Simple to Newsweek. I currently have subscriptions and access to dozens of magazines and a lot of them are weeklies so you can imagine how cluttered my apartment and office can get with all the magazines arriving so frequently. Due to my obsession with the oftentimes beautifully designed periodicals, I tend to not want to part with all of them. Magazines like Time, Entertainment Weekly, People and some of the other weeklies are easy to toss in the trash, but to me artistic and significant magazines like the now defunct Suede are worthy of keeping.

So, my problems were solved when I came across these super cute pink and canvas magazine holders. Now my favorite mags are neatly stored in my office and are no longer haphazardly stacked in the corner. So to my fellow BG magazine lovers, if you don’t already own a few, go out it buy some because they’re inexpensive and totally worth it.

These are the ones that I bought from Target. They’re great space savers, plus the inside is pink. What’s not to love?

This is the Real Simple magazine holder, which is similar to the one I have. It’s available at www.target.com for $12.99

Not only can magazine holders help de-clutter your office/home, but they can also add style with bursts of color. These are available at www.containerstore.com for $11.99

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Not many times does one get the opportunity to be in the company of living legends. I was lucky enough to have had that experience last night. I attended a reception hosted by the multi-talented and eloquent Tavis Smiley announcing the president and authors for his new publishing company, SmileyBooks.

The event took place at a lovely and chic penthouse loft on 5th Avenue. The atmosphere was laid-back, yet professional. While networking and mingling, I was honored to have met the legendary actress/activist, Ruby Dee. She is definitely one of our precious treasures. I’m not easily impressed when it comes to meeting celebrities, but I have always admired and respected her as an actress and a trailblazer for us BGs. The room was filled with many prominent and prolific African-American authors and legends such as, Iyanla Vanzant, Cornel West, Terry McMillan, Walter Mosley, Veronica Webb, Judith Jamison and a host of others. It was a night that I will forever remember because I’ve wanted to become a writer since I was in elementary school; being surrounded by such talent was truly inspiring. So in honor of the African-American literary world, here are a few books from some of the aforementioned writers.

“This Year Year You Write Your Novel” by Walter Mosley – I loved this book! It really inspired me to stop procrastinating and start writing my novel. It’s packed with great advice and strategies on how to stay focused.

“The Covenant in Action” by Tavis Smiley – This book was included in the swag bag at the event yesterday. I’m definitely going to check it out.

“Democracy Matters: Winning the Fight Against Imperialism” by Cornel West – He is quirky, intense and a genius, it’s a shame that I haven’t read one of his books. I have seen him on TV quite a few times though!

Visit www.amazon.com for more information about each of the books.

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October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, which means every woman is reminded by the entire country the importance of getting our annual mammogram and breast exams. Breast cancer affects all of us. I’m sure that each of us knows at least one person who has suffered from this deadly disease. I’ve especially been devastated by breast cancer – I lost two of my beloved aunts to the disease.

African-American women have a greater chance of dying from breast cancer, as opposed to our white counterparts. This is mainly due to the fact that we don’t seek treatment in enough time to effectively eradicate the cancer.

Fellow BGs, please set up an appointment to get your mammogram today. I know many of us tend to think that it only affects women in their 40s and older, but statistics show that the rate of African-American women in their 20s being diagnosed with breast cancer is increasing. Remember, early detection is the key to living a long and healthy life.

Here are a few tips on how to prevent breast cancer:

1. Stop smoking – This can lower your risk of lung cancer and breast cancer, plus it’s just stupid to smoke period!

2. Get more exercise – I know a lot of us don’t want to work out for various reasons, me included; but we have to realize that the excuses that we make can jeopardize our health.

3. Eat your fruits and veggies – I love fruits and veggies, but I know that I don’t eat as much as should be consuming. Get creative with your diet and find ways to incorporate veggies and fruits into meals. For example, for a tasty and healthy snack, slice some red peppers and eat them when you have a craving for something crisp and crunchy.

4. Relax – Reducing your stress level can improve your overall health. You can help do this by surrounding yourself with positive people and not letting senseless things get to you.

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